First Steps by Design
Not sure where to begin? Start here.
When you’re facing separation, knowing what to do first isn’t always obvious.
First Steps by Design brings together short, practical lessons and helpful resources so you can understand what deserves your attention now, what can wait and how to prepare for the conversations ahead.
You don’t need to work through everything today. Start with what matters. Leave the rest for when you’re ready.
6 modules · 11 lessons · 12 practical resources
$147 $37 USD · one-time payment
Instant access · Lifetime access · 365-day guarantee
“For the first time, I feel like I have some idea of what to do next.”
— Jessica, Adelaide · two weeks in Shared with permission. Names changed to protect privacy.
As heard and featured in
First Steps by Design
A calm, practical guide for wherever you are in your separation: short video lessons and simple resources, in the order you’re likely to need them.
Can’t switch your brain off?
2.13am
Still wide awake.
- Going over what happened today. Again. And again.
- What on earth am I going to tell the kids?
- Do I need a lawyer? Where do I even start?
- How am I going to afford everything on my own?
- Oh God, why did I send him that message?
- And what if there’s something really important I should be doing right now, and I don’t even know about it?
You’re exhausted. But your brain just won’t stop.
What the lessons help you do
Practical help for the weeks ahead.
Short lessons and simple resources that help you understand what deserves your attention now, and prepare for the decisions and conversations ahead.
Looking after yourself
Steady yourself
Get through the first 24 hours and week one, check in with how you’re feeling, and build your immediate support circle.
Navigating everyday situations
Feel ready for the hard conversations
Prepare to tell the children, communicate calmly with your separating partner, and pause before you send that message.
Protecting the practical essentials
Feel prepared for what matters
Digital privacy essentials, important to-dos, a first financial safety check and how to choose the right legal professional.
And when you do sit down with a lawyer or financial adviser, you’ll be better prepared for an informed conversation, with your questions and important information ready.
Hello. I’m Annie.
I’m so glad you’re here.
Whether you’re just starting to process what’s happening, or you’re already in the thick of it, I’m glad you found your way to this page.
You don’t have to have it figured out before you arrive. You just have to arrive.
I’ve walked this road myself, and I’ve spent years helping thousands of women find their way through it too. Let me show you what to look at, and in what order.
Founder, It’s Me by Design & Neuro-Transformational Practitioner
“I can’t tell you how much I needed this. Everything has felt like such a mess, and I’ve been terrified of getting things wrong. For the first time, I feel like I have some idea of what to do next. I know I’ve got a long way to go, but this has made it all feel a little less impossible.”
Shared with permission. Names changed to protect privacy.
Inside First Steps
Six simple stages, in the order you’re likely to need them.
11 short video lessons, 12 practical resources and 3 bonuses. Begin with what you need most right now and come back for the rest in your own time. There’s no need to race through it.
This is not another enormous workbook or list of things to complete. Just practical tools to help you take the next thoughtful step any time you need to.
1Start here
How First Steps works, and where to begin if you only have ten minutes today.
Start here
How First Steps works, and where to begin if you only have ten minutes today.
Resources
- Your Quick-Start Guide
- Bonus: Message Check by Design (AI tool)
- Bonus: The 2-Minute Separation Cheat Sheet
2Steady yourself
Support for the first hours, days and the emotional ups and downs.
Steady yourself
Support for the first hours, days and the emotional ups and downs.
Lessons
- The First 24 Hours
- Surviving Week One
- The Emotional Rollercoaster
Resources
- The First 24 Hours Checklist
- My Week One Support Page
- My Emotional Check-In
3Find safety & support
Recognise when extra support may be needed, and begin building the right people around you.
Find safety & support
Recognise when extra support may be needed, and begin building the right people around you.
Lessons
- Building Your Immediate Support Circle
- Family & Domestic Violence
Resources
- My Immediate Support Circle
- Safety Support
If you’re in danger right now, please contact your local emergency services.
4Protect the essentials
Simple early steps around your privacy, your important information and your money, and when it’s time to seek professional advice.
Protect the essentials
Simple early steps around your privacy, your important information and your money, and when it’s time to seek professional advice.
Lessons
- Digital Privacy Essentials
- Important To-Dos
- Protecting Your Money
- How to Find the Right Lawyer for You
Resources
- Digital Safety Check
- Important To-Dos Checklist
- The First Financial Safety Check
- Bonus: How to Choose the Right Legal Professional (workbook)
5Protect the children & communication
Thoughtful guidance for difficult conversations with your children and your separating partner.
Protect the children & communication
Thoughtful guidance for difficult conversations with your children and your separating partner.
Lessons
- Breaking the News to Your Children
- Best Practice for Communicating with Your Separating Spouse
Resources
- Preparing to Tell the Children
- Pause Before You Send
6Know what comes next
What deserves your attention now, what can wait, and your next thoughtful step.
Know what comes next
What deserves your attention now, what can wait, and your next thoughtful step.
Resources
- My Next Thoughtful Step
Included with First Steps
Plus three bonuses to make the next steps easier.
Bonus one
How to Choose the Right Legal Professional
A thoughtful interview guide to use before you hire a family lawyer.
Bonus two
Message Check by Design
An AI tool that gives you a calm space to pause, think clearly and choose your words before a message leaves your hands.
Bonus three
The 2-Minute Separation Cheat Sheet
20 things worth knowing early, so you can feel better prepared for what’s ahead.
“After 34 years of marriage, I honestly had no idea where to begin. This helped me slow everything down, understand what needed my attention and feel like I could actually handle what came next.”
Shared with permission. Names changed to protect privacy.
You’re not on your own
I’ve been where you are.
I know how disorienting, overwhelming and lonely the early days of separation can feel.
Years ago, I was standing exactly where you are now, trying to figure out what to do first, who to trust and how to protect my children and our future. I didn’t have a roadmap. I had to learn everything the hard way.
That experience changed the direction of my life. Since then, I’ve dedicated my work to helping women around the world find clarity, confidence and support through separation.
A different type of separation support
There’s more to separation than the legal process.
What I do provide
I’m here to help with everything happening around professional advice: a clear path through it, practical guidance, and the things worth understanding early, so you can look after your wellbeing and give yourself room to breathe.
What I don’t provide
Legal and financial advice are important parts of separation. I always recommend seeking personalised advice from appropriately qualified legal and financial professionals for your circumstances.
“Honestly, I was just trying to get through each day. I hadn’t even thought about some of the things I needed to do to protect myself financially. I’m so glad I found this when I did.”
Shared with permission. Names changed to protect privacy.
Ready to begin?
Get everything inside First Steps for $37.
A little clarity early can make the weeks ahead feel lighter.
First Steps is $37 because getting practical support at the beginning shouldn’t feel like another big decision.
First Steps by Design
- 6 modules · 11 short video lessons
- 12 practical resources
- 3 bonuses, including Message Check by Design
- Instant access · Lifetime access
- 365-day money-back guarantee
$147$37USD
One-time payment
Begin with your first steps →Secure checkout · 365-day money-back guarantee
Your purchase is protected
A full year to decide if it’s right for you.
I want you to feel comfortable taking this first step. If you purchase First Steps by Design and decide it isn’t right for you, simply contact us within 365 days of your purchase and we’ll refund your $37.
No complicated process. Just a full year to decide.
Frequently asked questions
A few things you may be wondering.
Is this for me?
If separation is part of your life right now, whether you’re thinking about it, it’s just happened, or you’re already finding your way through it, then yes.
First Steps covers the practical foundations that can help at almost any stage: preparing for what matters, communicating with your ex, supporting your children, looking after yourself and making more informed decisions about what comes next.
Will anyone know I’ve bought this?
Your privacy matters here. The payment appears on your card or bank statement as ITS ME BY DESIGN, and your emails come from It’s Me by Design.
If you share an email account, phone or computer with someone, you may like to check out with a private email address, and use your login link in a browser rather than installing the app. There’s a lesson inside on protecting your digital privacy too.
I’m overwhelmed. Is this going to give me even more to do?
No, quite the opposite. Everything has been deliberately designed to make this stage feel simpler, not heavier. The lessons are short, the guidance is practical, and you can take what you need now and leave the rest until later.
You don’t need to do everything. You just need somewhere clear to start.
What if we haven’t officially separated yet?
First Steps can still be useful if you’re facing the possibility of separation, having difficult conversations about what comes next, or quietly trying to understand what you may need to think about.
You don’t have to wait until everything is official to become better informed and prepared.
What if I’m already well into my separation?
You haven’t missed the boat. You may already know or have done some of what we cover, but other lessons can be useful at almost any stage, particularly communicating with your separating partner, supporting your children, protecting your privacy and finances, and understanding what to focus on next.
Is this legal or financial advice?
No. I’m not a lawyer or financial adviser, and this course does not provide legal or financial advice. I always recommend seeking personalised guidance from appropriately qualified professionals for your individual circumstances.
What I help with is everything happening around that advice: the practical and emotional side of separation, ways to prepare so you can use your professional support more effectively, thoughtful communication with your separating partner, and the everyday decisions that can otherwise feel overwhelming.
Does it matter where I live?
Not at all. Laws and legal processes differ around the world, which is exactly why personalised professional advice matters. But so much of the life happening around separation is universal, and the guidance inside has been designed to help you wherever in the world you call home.
What happens when I purchase?
You’ll receive your login details by email and get immediate access to the members portal, with the lessons and downloadable resources waiting for you. Start straight away and move through everything at your own pace.
Access the course on your computer through the link in your login email, or download the GoKollab app from the App Store or Google Play for easy access on your phone.
What if I don’t have much time?
That’s exactly why the lessons are short. Watch a lesson, take the next useful step and come back when you’re ready. This was designed for real life, including the messy kind.
What if I buy it and it’s not right for me?
You have a full 365 days to decide. If it isn’t right for you, simply contact my team within 365 days of purchase and we’ll refund your $37.
When you’re ready